


idk what 2 call this

by lucidnightmares



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Anti climatic ending, Depressing, Gay Character, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Non-Graphic Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucidnightmares/pseuds/lucidnightmares
Summary: Identity is a weird thing, Medic realizes.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	idk what 2 call this

Identity is a weird thing, Medic realizes.

Not everybody is attracted to women or men, and not everybody uses she and her or he and him. Some people are stuck in some middle ground, an area that Medic didn't know existed.

His teammates helped him discover this. Pyro had openly requested for people to use they and them when referring to them (which Medic never realized was even a possibility, and it seemed no one else did either), and the fact that Sniper had stayed unmarried for all his life despite there being no inability to find a partner, and although the Aussie insisted he just 'didn't want to', Medic had his doubts. And the fact that Scouts attraction to Miss Pauling was a little too intense, some may call it overcompensation, if you will.

Medic never had an attraction to women, those around him during his childhood (Also known as his mother) simply stating that he was too 'indulged in academics' to find the right girl, and Medic had assumed this was true, because he was quite involved in his work. Though as the years passed, Medic began to wonder why he still had no romantic attraction to women, but rather found himself ogling at men in clothing magazines (which he would never confess to anyone that he did, it was something the German planned to take to the grave), and realized maybe he didn't dislike the idea of intimacy, but rather the idea of intimacy with a woman. And although it sounded cliche, Medic, as a young child, had pictured himself with women and then with men, much preferring the ladder to the former.

Medic had considered talking to someone about this, but he quickly abandoned that idea upon the fact he would then have to face the mortifying ordeal of actually saying it. He trusted his teammates, or at least some of them, but he couldn't tell them about it. Not this. Anything else but this.

Medic didn't know what to do with how he felt, much less how to come to terms with it. Perhaps, he could just try and accept it, but accepting it means he would be… Y'know.

Medic had heard stories of what happens to people who are that. Always found beaten in an alley, slurs spray painted above them, horrible, horrible slurs. Although he despised the memory, he had seen a scene like that before. He shudders just thinking about it, the memory of that poor boy with his head bashed in with a rock, the word 'FAGGOT' in blue spray paint on the wall above his half alive body returning to him. It was something that Medic could never, ever forget, not if he tried his absolute hardest to.

Medic knows that if anybody, absolutely anybody knew about this, he'd end up like that boy in the alleyway. And Medic valued his life. He just couldn't let his secret slip, despite his trust for his friends and colleagues. No matter how friendly they appeared, Medic feared that they wouldn't hesitate to tell someone. He knew this fear was irrational at best and disgustingly rude at worst, but it was just something he had to expect.

So, for now, he'll keep quiet about this. And it'll be that way for… Quite a while


End file.
